'I' attain mobility

Continued from- the day 'I'came to life

Growth was rather a seamless transition from one diaper to another- pink, blue, yellow and name it, I made my presence felt everywhere.  I fed on Mama’s milk. Solid food was a strict No-No and my toothless aggression, prevented defiance. Relatives became, relatively familiar, albeit annoyance was inherent. They taught me a new code of conduct- Whenever, a symphony conductor (read: relative) uttered shhh! I was meant to Pee, irrelevant of time, place and other such civic entanglements. Every move of mine attracted rhapsody of praises and I became an overnight celeb.  

Somewhere, I was skeptical about my naked image contributing to the rise.

My mom, dad and allied forces arranged a ‘Soiree’ celebrating my first bite on solid food. Followed by pronouncing of teeth-shattering archaic names, by one of which I was ought to be known.

I wondered if similar parties would follow, the first time I booze or light a fag.

To the amazement or amusement of all, I started to crawl. The obnoxious relatives began to throw balls, teddies and the ilk, expecting me to fetch them. Poor me became source of entertainment for the recession hit dog lovers. I sneaked surreptitiously to clandestine locales, where I could shit sans public glare. But my freedom of excretion was cut short. The masses caught hold of me and tucked my arse in a pot-shaped vessel, boastfully called ‘potty’. The claque gazed in front as I conducted fortissimo excreting Chef d’ oeuvre.

Intermittently, I started to babble in staccato. Almost every comment of mine was misconstrued and manipulated to self admiration. It happened one day, irritated by the clichéd stand-up comedy of ‘dadaji’ (grandfather), I called out duh! - Immediately mistaken for ‘da’ of dadaji. Similarly, I wanted to say “‘thou’ stop pestering”, I was cut short and Thou became ‘tau’ (paternal uncle).

Next, on the card was the ultimate test of humanhood. Mom and dad alternatively held my fingers and tried to make walk.

‘Which I presumed, was a gesture, prodding me to move my lazy arse.’

I fell down occasionally (okay! Okay! Regularly) but eventually started to walk and then run. A move which was later repented by my parents, seeing our ‘Home sweet Home’ lie in disarray.